First Draft Assessment

This is our groups first draft of On Track.

Things that went well.

• The main thing that went well with this film opening is the quality of the shots. We managed to get a variety of different shots in every scene. As a result of this it allows to show different points of view. 
• Another aspect that went well within the film opening is the different uses of music and diegetic sound.

Things that could be improved.

• As a result of receiving a lot of feedback from the peer assessment task, we got told a few times that the beginning scene of the alarm clock going off opens the film to look like it is a horror film. Apparently it gives the idea to the audience that the title On Track is a play on words and it actually goes 'off track' but that isn't the message that we are trying to portray throughout the film opening. 
• Another thing that could be improved to make this first draft better would be to add a music type that corresponds with the mood and feel of the opening. With the song saying 'I can't stop thinking about you' it doesn't feel appropriate with what is going on within the opening. As the characters are supposed to be opposites and wanting nothing to do with each other (which also isn't portrayed very well) the music doesn't show that and the music should help with story telling of the opening. 
• Linking with not showing the characters very well, I don't do an efficient job on looking as a complete opposite in comparison to Renae. I was ideally supposed to look poor compared to Renae, however the costumes do not correspond with the characters personality or their background. 

Other's feedback.

What elements of this sequence did you feel were successful? Give atlas 2 elements and explain why they were successful?

• The shots were good.
• The music is good.
• The swimming shot is good.
• The types of shots were nice.
• The use of different angles was good.
• Good camera angles.
• Titles are different and good transitions and animations. 
• Good variety of shots.
• Underwater shots were interesting.
• Swimming shot was really good.
• Good camera shots- underwater.
• Cool swimming pool shots.

Were there any aspects of the sequence which you felt were confusing/distracting, etc? Be sure to explain your answers.

• The titles and what was going on was confusing. 
• The light is different as it goes from dark to light.
• Unsure about plot one.
• Show locations were not vary varied.
• No real storyline.
• Minimal Dialogue.
• Not sure what the storyline is. 
• Music was a bit too loud when walking out the door.
• A bit confusing as to why it keeps saying On Track and why it jumps character. 
• Needs proper opening credits.
• Who were the people?
• What was the importance of the sport?

List 2 things which you feel would have improved this sequence and explain your opinion. 

• Maybe a voice over to make the story clearer.
• The titles need to be finalised.
• Different fonts for titles, need to use just one.
• Voices are too loud.
• Change the song. Not royalty free?
• Make the storyline a bit clearer. 
• More dialogue.
• Some of the beginning shots were a bit out of focus.
• Timings- going out in the dark but running in the day time.
• Introduce the 2nd runner earlier. 
• Make music quieter.
• Needs a clearer plot line.